Love

THIS FACE!!! She is the cutest thing ever. Nothing in the world makes me happier than this face.

"I RULE" Yes. Yes, she does.

Today Dad and Grampa went golfing so we went to meet them for lunch by the golf course. It was a nice lunch, everyone came! Both sides of the family all in one place! Its always nice to see everyone. I especially love seeing my husband 'in his element'. He is so good with all the kids, plus he handles our language barriers (my in laws speak primarily Portuguese). I can tell how much it means to him on days like today, for that I am grateful.

I started thinking on my way home from lunch today as my mom and I were recanting the day and talking about family stuff. Nothing out of the ordinary or anything really in particular. But it made me think. There will come a day when something is going to happen and my daughter will be old enough to understand or ask questions. Will I tell her what is going on if it would change the way she feels about someone she knows or maybe even loves? I know in my family there are things that divided people that I love. I understood at a young age what was happening and it made me feel one way or another about someone involved.

I strongly believe that we are all born 'clean slates'. We are taught to hate, to love and to judge. If I don't teach her to hate could that prevent her from feeling that? Obviously, I wouldn't shield her from the meaning, there will surely be Seasame Street lessons about that right?! And, of course, I would want her to know the seriousness of such a strong word. But if I never tell her "oh I hate so and so" Or "I hate when this happens" would it help her to keep that word out of her vocabulary, especially when it could be hurtful? I wouldn't want to sway her because I am her Mommy.  I don't want to taint her pure mind with something that really gets you nowhere. But even just sharing my frustrations with her, my annoyances, that could influence her feelings towards something or someone. *Disclaimer: She WILL hate Cockroaches, I cannot hide my HATE for those assholes!*

To be completely honest, I am a sensitive person. I have a hard time admitting my faults and I have a really hard time showing my vulnerability.  Even admitting THAT is hard. I will need to make a conscience effort to keep some things to myself and not say things in front of her that she could someday repeat. Kind of the way we have to curb our cursing when we have little ears listening.

In the big picture, I would never teach my baby to hate someone based on their skin color, sexual preference or religion. So why would I want to pass on my own grudge or feelings. I wouldn't. I think that more people should practice this. I have heard little voices pass on hurtful words. Littles don't always understand what they are saying when they are just repeating what they hear. Which is why understanding the meaning of hurtful words is important to me. 

I will teach her to love not to hate.